This has been a hard day for me.
I caught recent news of a burger, The Big Mac. I'd never heard of it either, but it's fatty, or so they say. So I overcame my phobia of not ordering off the Dollar Menu and tried it. After eating the sloppy burger it suddenly hit me. I suffer from MANHOOD Obesity.
It was such a natural process that I should have noticed. The sudden burst of belly. The spending of $10 off the Dollar Menu. Manhood Obesity has struck another victim.
I should have known it was coming my way when I kept casting myself in roles where the movie called for a gross, shirtless individual. It's a terrible realization.
I use to come out of the shower, look in the mirror, flex my pecs, smile and admire the water flowing through my Ab creases like deep rivers (part of that is true by the way, I use to shower). But for now I'm stuck with disgusting roles where women are repulsed at the site of my terrible figure. One day I will be cast as the skinny dork again, but not today.
To overcome "Manhood Obesity" I will be a determined boy in the month of April. This includes: Jogging, Sprinting, Running, Trotting, and speed walking. Oh yes, April will be my month, you just keep an eye for a new Calvin Klein model this summer, he might just look a lot like me.
1 comment:
Do your manboobs make your outward pointing nipples even more far apart, or somehow closer together? If somehow closer together, maybe you shouldn't lose weight.
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